To move...or not to move??

And the work week begins...

After my rather dramatic and out of control post last night, I decided to try and post something not so negative. It's a challenge for me!

I spent a few hours with my aunt today, and it was actually really relieving and refreshing. She's been there for me a lot through out the years and I really have started to depend on her. We went and picked out a satelite radio for my dad for his birthday then hit the Clinique counter..Sadly...something I would never do with my mom. I called my brother while I was at Best Buy and told him about what I found, then made a comment along the lines of " Oh mann Ryan you are so lucky you live far away." He then mentioned that he has 2 extra rooms at his house and that if I wanted to come live with him at some point, we might be able to work something out.

I am seriously without a doubt contemplating this. I would have to wait till at least September for my debt to be paid off, save some money up, get a job over there, and get school situated. Ryan lives in a cute little city called Arlington, WA, I think its about an hour and a half out of Seattle. I can just picture it right now! Go to school over there, work a little part time job, and enjoy life on the west side of the state!

I'm going to talk to him about it more but I really am thinking about it, and if I plan it out I could easily make it happen! I'm 20 seriously, what do I have here that is so important that I couldn't find it over there?

Ohhhh the possibilities!! :) :)

Never felt so alone

Where did you go Saturday? Oh yeah.... I slept away my Saturday.

This post is inspired by my fellow blogging friend Brandi, she always blogs about the most interesting things and I'm feeling very inspired!

The past couple of weeks have been to say the least...weird. Today it kind of all exploded like a volcano....on my mom. Anyone who knows me, knows the relationship I have with my mom, and I don't want to air my dirty laundry on a blog but my mom and I definitely don't have a mommy-daughter relationship. We have never seen eye to eye or really gotten along. I recently moved home to pay off my credit cards and I had the idea in the back of my mind that maybe we could mend our relationship, but it's been the opposite of that actually.

When I moved in there were "rules" that I had to abide by in order to live here, and I have been trying my hardest to keep the peace and to not "rock the boat."

I've been feeling a little bit down on myself for a few weeks now and haven't really talked to her much, but after laying in bed all day she finally asked me what's wrong. I told her that I'm just depressed that I have no friends, a stressful job, and just feel a little lost. She actually made me feel worse, saying how long she has tried to help me and that she is done trying, and that I am the only one that can change it, I just need to come up with a plan and that I have been feeling this way for years, and that I need to pull out of it. I was even more angry than I had been before that so I went upstairs...and made the mistake of....slamming my door, yes pathetic I know. Some words were exchanged about not putting up with that, and my things being out in the front yard if I did it again.

I am so frustrated because I have not ONE person to turn to when things like this happen and maybe it's because no one is as miserable as me. Everyone around me is so focused on themselves and there lives they don't give a crap about me, there words are usually something along the lines of being so much worse than my situation and they kind of just forget that I am upset about something. I want someone to listen to me... is that to much to ask? I have no best friend, no friend, no mom or dad to listen to me.... and I don't know what the hell to do.

I will write more tomorrow... I have so many things going through my mind that I really don't even know where to begin...

This whole being alone thing....SUCKS!

Hello lovelys :)

It's been a weird week... I haven't been able to wake up on time, I haven't been really motivated to go work out, none of my clothes fit right, and I've had dreams at night about the ex-boyfriend, ugh can it get any worse?

The major thing that has really been on my mind is how much I'm really starting to hate being alone. I know that when I find that special someone, it will mean even more to me and that I shouldn't rush into things but seriously, this is getting old already! I honestly think the only person that is happy about it is my mom. I'm not in a relationship for many reasons and there good reasons but I can't help but think, am I going to be single forever?

I went to Subway last night and gave some random guy my number....Not a good idea, I've never done that before! I was really excited at first but then I thought, what the heck am I thinking, I don't want to date, I don't want anything to do with the opposite sex right now! I definitely did not put myself in a good position...

I just need to stop looking, focus on myself, and somebody will come when I least expect it...Or at least I hope!

Highlight of my weekend:

BBQ today with Josh G, Josh A, Dani, and Rachel. Josh made me some really really good chicken and Dani made some amazing mashed potatoes! It was just so nice to sit outside around the fire, chatting, and having a good time. Even though I was the 5th wheel...Lol whatever.

I hope next week turns out better! Looking forward to getting my hair done Wednesday, then Seattle for Easter weekend leaving on Friday the 2nd!

Where did the week go?

What a crazy week it has been, let me tell you!

I'm going to try and bring you up to date about my week but I'm not even sure I can remember what happened on Monday, I will try and remember as much as I can!

Monday: Crazy day at work, Mondays are usually crazy because we have to handle all the calls from people that were seen in the ER over the weekend so we have to schedule them follow-up appointments. Wore my cute skirt and cardigan combo, love it! Then came home and hung out with brother then went to bed!

Tuesday: Babysat cute lil' Ryder after work, got lost trying to find Burger King, got a phone number for a great nail lady from Nicole, came home and crashed!

Wednesday: Absolutely insane day at work, it was my first day scheduling for 1 dr. and having all the phones BY MYSELF but I handled it! I went to turbo kickboxing after work and kept up the whole entire time, I was so proud of myself!

Thursday: Went out on a date...yes me I went on a date! It's been awhile for me! Unfortuntely the date was a complete failure ( in my opinion). The first issue: Walked into Starbucks, he was already sitting down drinking his coffee, I got my wallet to get mine, didn't even offer to pay for it, what the heck? You asked me out! I felt as though I held "the floor" the whole entire time, didn't really have much to talk about. We got up to leave, and he just started walking to his car. No bye? No nice to see you? In my mom's opinion " Well scratch him off the list Kaylene!" So better luck on my next date...which might be awhile!

Friday: Got free tickets to the Chiefs game! Took Ashley and we had our little "girl date." Unfortunately they lost, but it was a fun and intense game! Got to go to Silver Safari to change my earrings for the 1st time, yay! They charged me $3.00 to change them, uhh what the heck? And yes, I just got my ears pierced for the first time lol I know.. very lame.

My very first pair of earrings, purchased at Kohls :)

Lovin' the sunshine!

Oh what a fantastic weekend it has been! :) :)

I went to my friend Ashleys house on the north side, every time I drive up there I joke around saying that It feels like I'm driving to Montana. It's like a 40 minute drive, it's horrible! But she's my friend and thats what you do.... I guess :D She made me pancakes then did my nails, we felt like little junior highers having a slumber party! We didn't go to bed till 1am and anybody that knows me, I go to bed early!

I woke up and made the long long drive home to get ready, then headed downtown for a little shopping trip to Nordstrom to spend my gift card, plus a little extra :) Ashley then decided that she wanted to make a trip to the valley mall, do you know how long it takes to get from downtown to the valley mall going down SPRAGUE! About 40 minutes... Absolute ridiculousness!

Just a thought for the day:

If you wanted to hang out with somebody so badly , why would you wait till 9pm to get a hold of them and then never even mention hanging out but you made such a big deal about it the night before? People are weird...

I will post some pictures of my cute new outfits later!

If you can't change something, change the way you think about it

Happy Tuesday !

When I got off work today, I looked at the temp. and could not wait to get home and go for a quick walk with Jackie ( my brothers dog whom we've been watching) Unfortunately I didn't realize how dark it gets, thats the problem with working an 8-5 job, when I get home there is almost no sunlight left at this time of the year! I just went on a quick walk/run down Madison Rd. and back, but it felt so good to feel the fresh air, spring is in the air!

I went to my cardio boot camp last night and I was going to try and go tonight but I was just exhausted and thought a quick walk would be better suited. Unfortunately, I didn't drink 60 oz of water today, or get my 25 grams of fiber in :( It's okay, it's only March 2nd!

I still have no idea in what direction to take this blog. I was thinking of starting simple and maybe doing a top 5 list of something random everyday just for fun! So how bout for today we do top 5 favorite songs right now? Sounds good!

1. Syndicate- The Fray

2. Life after you- Daughtry (notice one of my blog titles)

3. Thank you for hearing me- Sinead O'Connor ( on the commercial for the new "addicted" on TLC

4. I never told you- Colbie Caillet

5.Till the Summer comes around- Keith Urban

One thing that has been bothering me a bit and I know that I have been completely guilty of this at times. I have a friend who I hung out with the other night not gonna name any names! He's a great guy and he's smart, and I know that some of the choices he makes are not the best but he has literally been in trouble in every aspect of his life since about his sophomore year of high school and I don't understand how you can screw up so many times yet keep making the same bad choices. I know growing up my mom always told " you are who your friends are" and that's completely true in his case, which I have mentioned to him but its like he wants to get his life together and do good things but is he so stuck in a rut that he can't get out? I have met way too many people that sometimes they wait till it's too late to change anything.

Are some people just wired to think "oh I made a bad decision, I probably should stop what I'm doing, and try this approach" or maybe some people just say " Hm I screwed up, I wonder what will happen if I screw up again?"

I also have learned that sometimes have nothing to do or no hobbies really can change a persons outcome on life! If you have something to look forward to or keep you busy, I really think you are less likely to get into trouble. Now I know that statement is not true for everyone but I know that working a full time job, and having a few things here and there to keep me busy has done a number on my outlook on life.

So I'm not really sure what to think, but thats something I've been pondering today!

Well that's all for today! It's only 8pm and I'm exhausted :(

Mondays are usually never this good...

Where do I even begin with how spectacular my Monday was? Today was my first official day as a scheduler and it's absolutely unbelievable how fast your day goes by when you actually have stuff to do! It got a little bit stressful at different points in the day but I handled it. I also found out that I got a raise since I changed positions, 90 cents, yay!

After I got home from work, I headed straight for the gym. I go to a "cardio boot camp class" and oh man let me tell you, it's amazing! I've never been a gym person, I've always found it very intimidating so this is the perfect thing to get my work out in. It's about 50 minutes long, works every part of your body, your with women of all different ages and strength levels, I look forward to working out for once in my life! If anybody wants to check it out here's the link to her website : http://www.studiofitspokanevalley.com/ It's ran by a girl named Emily, she's young and so energetic, she makes you feel great, and not like your not trying hard enough. Every month she has a challenge so for the month of March the challenge is :

• Drink half your weight in ounces of water (I would need to drink about 60 fl. oz a day which isn't hard at all. )


• Eat 25 g of fiber a day


• Log 2 miles, that might be running, walking or just going to the grocery store. So time to get my pedometer out!

You keep track by a chart at the studio, so you can get 3 stickers total for doing the above. I feel like I'm in elemantary school with the whole sticker thing but it's a great idea, and you have the opportunity to win prizes at the end of the month!

Well I'm having a hard time writing because I feel all over the place and I don't want this post to be complete chaos so I will try and write a more focused topic tomorrow.

I have to leave you with a picture of my super amazing flats I bought over the weekend though :)