Reaching for your goals

Current thought of the day: 

How are some people "hard-wired" to set a goal and reach it, and have complete success in there life no matter what they do? Is it something that they teach themselves early in life? Is it inherited from there family? 

I've been thinking about this because lately, I have been faced with school, work, and just overall trying to make some changes in my life. I have goals and expectations for myself, I always have but I feel as though I don't know how to achieve them. I look at everything in the big picture, and then immediately get overwhelmed. These range from little things to getting in the habit of flossing my teeth to not drinking as much coffee to big things like a career and getting into a good school. I tell myself "Ok, I'm only going to buy 3 coffees this week." By Wednesday, I've already had 4 coffees. I do believe that the whole coffee thing is self control mostly, it's not nessecarily as setting a goal to not drink them as much it's that I need to have enough self control to limit myself. 

I've heard quite a few times that you should write your goals down, you should journal etc. Which is one of the reasons I started this blog, to get my thoughts out even if no one reads it, it still feels good to get them out. Maybe each week, I should try to do a few weekly goals for myself and then also maybe a few short term goals like things happening in the next few months. Alright here are my current goals for the week( I know tomorrow is Wednesday, but my work week just started so we'll go from Wednesday to Sunday)

Weekly Goals 10/26 to 10/31

--Floss my teeth every day this week

--Drink coffee from home tomorrow and Thursday, then buy latte on Friday and Saturday only. 

--When I get out of bed in the morning, think about 3 things that I am thankful for. 

-- Turn off cell phone "unplug" for at least an hour every day this week

-- Take dog on walk on Thursday (since I don't work) and on Friday after work. 

Short Term Goals

(next few weeks/months) 

--Practice Fry's tips on how to study 

-- Get at least a 92% on psych exam on November 4th 

--Find an organization to volunteer for 

I will try and report daily to see how my goals are coming along and at the end of the week, I'll see if I achieved them and set goals for next week. 

Well that's all my thoughts for tonight, I have an ear ache...and a headache so I'm off to bed :) 

Dreary Monday

Happy Monday everyone!

 It is so nice having Mondays off from work now. I actually have tomorrow off too, not sure what I'm going to do all day since the weather has been so crappy, all I want to do is cuddle in bed with a blanket and the weather is only going to get worse from here. Well todays events consisted of: 

Lunch w/ Becky @ Rock City, so delicious!

Got my hair done :) 

And now I'm just watching Two and a half men, but I should be working on homework here pretty soon. 

Me and Becky stopped by Nordstrom after lunch and oh man so many cute things, but I refrained! Yay what an accomplishment! Thought i'd post a pic of my new hair color:

Here is before, mostly dark brown is usually how I have it.

Here is after, a little more reddish tint with a nice healthy trim. 

 

 

 

Also, I must recommend my shampoo ( I bought some more today), I have used it for the past couple of years and it is AMAZING! 

 Alright, thats all for now~ Homework time! 

Things I must do

It's 9:57pm, I don't have to work tomorrow and here I am, watching TV and blogging. After reading some blogs, I'm feeling inspired. Well and I'm feeling a bit scatter brained too. Here are some things that are currently on my mind that need some attention.

1. I really need to join a gym (again) Between reading Shape magazine, and my health and wellness class I am taking for school, I have to get into a healthy lifestyle and I know the longer I put it off, the worse it's going to get. I'm not worried about my weight at all, I'm perfectly content with being 5'3'' and 115 pounds but I would like to be more healthy, more energy, toned, and overall better well-being. So there thing to do 1. Join the gym by Friday. There should be no excuses, there is one literally 3 minutes away from my house.

2.  I also need a hobby...Other than going to school, working, watching TV, and blogging unfortunately those are not hobbies well I guess school could be my hobby but I need something to look forward to, to take my mind off things, and maybe something that will help me meet people. I believe Spokane might be lacking in fun, exciting things to do but what does everyone else do?? Well.. I can answer that question for people my age: Do drugs, have kids, and party. Hm..None of those things I am even remotely interested in. I've been thinking scrap booking might be a good idea, but my impression of it is mainly that it's expensive and right now, my focus is on getting my credit cards paid off, save for a new car, and get some money saved up so I can focus more on school, and not on working full time to pay bills week after week. 


Well Pretty Woman is on for the second time tonight, and I missed the beginning so night loves and ending with a picture of my little kitty cat Lucy because is sooo frickin cute when she's all curled up :) :) 

She's so precious! <3

Take my heart of stone...

I'm not going to commit to updating this blog...But I am going to try my hardest to update so here goes.

Maybe I should first explain the title of my post today. I have been recently got back into going to church, I absolutely love it and I have so much respect for people that have God in there life, and look to him for strength.

The pastor who talked today was actually the marriage counselor so I tried to understand what he was talking about but I have to say, it was a little hard to relate to except the very last part, actually the last prayer before we left. I'll post the whole thing so you can listen to it but it went like this. He told this story:

He used to be a registered nurse @ Sacred Heart before he became a pastor. He worked on the heart transplant floor and worked with a man named "John." John's heart was rejected, and the rejected heart usually gets bigger and "inflates" but he says that this heart got smaller and resembled a rock. Brian( pastor) later asked John if he could pray with him, praying for a new match. 6 hours later, Brian was informed that they found a new match for John. The ending prayer was letting God in our life and having him take our heart of stone, and replace it with one of flesh. This leads to my next topic..because right now, I feel like my heart is made of stone.
_____________________________________________________________

My grandpa is in the hospital... I wish I were upset but I'm not. I don't even consider him "grandpa," to me, his name is Harry. My grandma died when I was 7 and he remarried, which our family has never really gotten along with her. Family dynamics are always a mystery to me. My dad has never really been close to his dad, and in turn, our family has never bonded with his side of the family because of this. We always dread holidays, get togethers are awkward, and phone calls are far and few between. His health has declined recently, he lost his sight progressively over the years, he's overweight which is causing a number of problems for him. Nothing he eats is without butter, salt, or fat so his health is obviously suffering because of this. He's been in and out of the ICU, in outpatient care, and back in the hospital. I haven't gone and visited him and honestly, I'm not going to. I have no sympathy for him or his wife, he did this to himself and refusing to see doctors because all they care about is money is sickening to me. I obviously work in the medical field, and without doctors what would we do? I have a lot of respect for them and wish that I had enough drive to go to medical school. He refuses to make the changes that his body and health needs, and he is suffering because of it. My dad is obviously very upset about it, but it's been hard to listen to it without just getting..frustrated. How can you or your signifcant other not care enough about your health and your well being? I feel like a horrible person for saying all this...but it's the truth, you can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves and for him, I think it's too little too late. Even if he was to change his eating habits etc, it wouldn't be enough to turn his health around.

Update on my life...

I'm back!

I know I've probably said it a few times before how I need to write more but...I really do! I look at other people's blogs and say shoot, I should try and do this everyday. I'm going to try and update on my life as best I can but I will probably leave a few things, since it has been about 3 months since I've wrote.

1. I quit working the Urology dept at Rockwood, I went back to being a float receptionist as of last week for a number of reasons. The main one being that I start school on September 20th and my position was nowhere close to a part time position which is understandable. I miss everyone a lot, I miss knowing what to do, and I think I miss the doctors the most. On my last day, I did have my annual review which coincidentally it happened to be on my last day but I got a raise and that's all that matters :)

2. I'm still single...Which actually, I'm starting to get used to. It's not that bad but I think the longer I've been single, the more picky that I've gotten which good thing..or bad thing? I've gone on a few dates but no one to bring home to mom and dad. When the right one comes along, I'll know but I'm young and don't need to be tied down in a relationship.

3. As I said above in #1, I start school September 20th. Yup, I will officially be a student again, weird to think about! I'm only taking 2 classes since I still have to work close to full time and don't want to overwhelm myself the 1st quarter back! I think my head is in the right place for school and It will be a great feeling to go back.

4. My plan to move to Seattle didn't exactly go as planned...Actually, if I were still going I would be leaving tomorrow! It's been harder than I thought to save money and to get my credit cards paid off and moving just wasn't in the cards. I'm not exactly a spontaneous person, I like to plan things and think them through. I couldn't just pack up and move to figure it out when I got there. I have a really good thing going working at Rockwood, I'm making good money, I'm developing great skills, and really getting a taste of the medical field. Hypothetically speaking, if I do work there through school and hopefully nursing school, I could get hired there as an RN but we'll cross that bridge when we get there!

Well...that's all the updates that I can think of. I'll get back into blogging, just need more cool stuff to right about?

I'm on the pursuit of happiness...

Wow...It's been awhile! Almost a month... I need to start getting back into this because I was addicted to it at first! Here are some updates from the past 3 weeks:

1. My mom got a new job. After working at Us Bank for 35 years, she is now moving onto a less stressful job at Global Credit Union, I'm really happy for her and I think it will be a good change.

2. I hung out with the ex-boyfriend for a week, thinking maybe we could work things out. I know I know what all of you are going to say. But you know.. some things never change and we broke up for a reason and maybe I needed that week of hanging out to realize that.

3. I got my wisdom teeth out, I recovered really fast which I was surprised about. I'm just glad that I got it over with.

4. I have still been tossing around the idea of moving away but I'm still unsure about it. If I'm unsure, it's probably best that I don't do it.

5. I did the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, which was really fun and it felt great to be involved in such a great cause! Rockwood was a sponsor so they designed these awesome shirts that we got to wear.

6. I haven't been to the gym in like a month....and it's killing me! I need to go this week or I'm gonna go crazy.

Hmm..Well that is the extent of my update lol. Maybe I'll write more later today :)

I have to go enjoy some more Monkey fingers, yummy yummy!

What makes a house...a home?

Happy Easter everyone!

I've been struggling lately....Mostly with my family issues, it's nothing new and i'd like to say that I hate writing this blog to complain about my problems but this is a blog..and I decided to get it so I could talk about my feelings because I have a lot of them! Sorry if I offend anyone!

People that are close to me know that my mom and I have a rather difficult and weird relationship. When I moved home, I thought that it would actually make our relationship better but it's made it worse in a lot of ways. Moving out in 5 months doesn't seem like it's coming very fast at all! My dad lost his job a few months ago, my mom works a lot of hours at a job that's very stressful, and my dad is struggling with being home all day, with nothing to do. My dad and I had became very close when I moved out, we would go out to lunch or he'd call me just to talk. Unfortunately now, he barely speaks to me, it consists of a good morning, and bye have a good day, sometimes it's less than that. It hurts me to see him so upset and depressed, but I don't blame him but I've learned that everyday you should find little pieces of happiness no matter what it might be. I wish I could help him but I'm just at a loss for words.

Now I know this blog is public and I know someone in my family will read it but honestly I don't care at all, this is how I feel and if you don't like it..then well too bad.

My mom on the other hand, I've always felt as though nothing has ever been good enough for her, if I got a B in school, she wanted an A. I'm working full time making good money, but I should be in school. I had a boyfriend, she didn't like him, in the end we broke up. I'm single now, but I shouldn't be talking to this guy because I left him in my "past." I could go on and on about things in our relationship that aren't right at all, things that shouldn't be consider a "good" mother daughter relationship. It has basically boiled down to I walk on egg shells when I'm at home, my dad never sticks up for me even if my mom is out of line, and if my mom is mad at me, my dad is too even if it's something that's not even related to my dad and I. Things are so one-sided lately, I'm not allowed to drink coffee in my room or have a cup of water on my dresser, yet she can throw my upopened mail in my damn sink? And ignore me when I'm talking to her? Things will always be my fault, I will always break the silence with an apology because honestly, it's just easier to say sorry to her because she will not apoligize, she could go weeks without speaking to me.

I'm a good person, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have a good job, I don't stay out late. I might be feisty and say what I feel, and a little bitchy at times but that's who I am, I haven't changed for anyone and I'm sure as hell not going to change for her. I have no idea what to do, no idea where to take this...go the next 5 months without speaking to her??

We will get along someday.....or maybe we won't? But honestly, I don't really care at this point... It is what it is.

To move...or not to move??

And the work week begins...

After my rather dramatic and out of control post last night, I decided to try and post something not so negative. It's a challenge for me!

I spent a few hours with my aunt today, and it was actually really relieving and refreshing. She's been there for me a lot through out the years and I really have started to depend on her. We went and picked out a satelite radio for my dad for his birthday then hit the Clinique counter..Sadly...something I would never do with my mom. I called my brother while I was at Best Buy and told him about what I found, then made a comment along the lines of " Oh mann Ryan you are so lucky you live far away." He then mentioned that he has 2 extra rooms at his house and that if I wanted to come live with him at some point, we might be able to work something out.

I am seriously without a doubt contemplating this. I would have to wait till at least September for my debt to be paid off, save some money up, get a job over there, and get school situated. Ryan lives in a cute little city called Arlington, WA, I think its about an hour and a half out of Seattle. I can just picture it right now! Go to school over there, work a little part time job, and enjoy life on the west side of the state!

I'm going to talk to him about it more but I really am thinking about it, and if I plan it out I could easily make it happen! I'm 20 seriously, what do I have here that is so important that I couldn't find it over there?

Ohhhh the possibilities!! :) :)

Never felt so alone

Where did you go Saturday? Oh yeah.... I slept away my Saturday.

This post is inspired by my fellow blogging friend Brandi, she always blogs about the most interesting things and I'm feeling very inspired!

The past couple of weeks have been to say the least...weird. Today it kind of all exploded like a volcano....on my mom. Anyone who knows me, knows the relationship I have with my mom, and I don't want to air my dirty laundry on a blog but my mom and I definitely don't have a mommy-daughter relationship. We have never seen eye to eye or really gotten along. I recently moved home to pay off my credit cards and I had the idea in the back of my mind that maybe we could mend our relationship, but it's been the opposite of that actually.

When I moved in there were "rules" that I had to abide by in order to live here, and I have been trying my hardest to keep the peace and to not "rock the boat."

I've been feeling a little bit down on myself for a few weeks now and haven't really talked to her much, but after laying in bed all day she finally asked me what's wrong. I told her that I'm just depressed that I have no friends, a stressful job, and just feel a little lost. She actually made me feel worse, saying how long she has tried to help me and that she is done trying, and that I am the only one that can change it, I just need to come up with a plan and that I have been feeling this way for years, and that I need to pull out of it. I was even more angry than I had been before that so I went upstairs...and made the mistake of....slamming my door, yes pathetic I know. Some words were exchanged about not putting up with that, and my things being out in the front yard if I did it again.

I am so frustrated because I have not ONE person to turn to when things like this happen and maybe it's because no one is as miserable as me. Everyone around me is so focused on themselves and there lives they don't give a crap about me, there words are usually something along the lines of being so much worse than my situation and they kind of just forget that I am upset about something. I want someone to listen to me... is that to much to ask? I have no best friend, no friend, no mom or dad to listen to me.... and I don't know what the hell to do.

I will write more tomorrow... I have so many things going through my mind that I really don't even know where to begin...

This whole being alone thing....SUCKS!

Hello lovelys :)

It's been a weird week... I haven't been able to wake up on time, I haven't been really motivated to go work out, none of my clothes fit right, and I've had dreams at night about the ex-boyfriend, ugh can it get any worse?

The major thing that has really been on my mind is how much I'm really starting to hate being alone. I know that when I find that special someone, it will mean even more to me and that I shouldn't rush into things but seriously, this is getting old already! I honestly think the only person that is happy about it is my mom. I'm not in a relationship for many reasons and there good reasons but I can't help but think, am I going to be single forever?

I went to Subway last night and gave some random guy my number....Not a good idea, I've never done that before! I was really excited at first but then I thought, what the heck am I thinking, I don't want to date, I don't want anything to do with the opposite sex right now! I definitely did not put myself in a good position...

I just need to stop looking, focus on myself, and somebody will come when I least expect it...Or at least I hope!

Highlight of my weekend:

BBQ today with Josh G, Josh A, Dani, and Rachel. Josh made me some really really good chicken and Dani made some amazing mashed potatoes! It was just so nice to sit outside around the fire, chatting, and having a good time. Even though I was the 5th wheel...Lol whatever.

I hope next week turns out better! Looking forward to getting my hair done Wednesday, then Seattle for Easter weekend leaving on Friday the 2nd!

Where did the week go?

What a crazy week it has been, let me tell you!

I'm going to try and bring you up to date about my week but I'm not even sure I can remember what happened on Monday, I will try and remember as much as I can!

Monday: Crazy day at work, Mondays are usually crazy because we have to handle all the calls from people that were seen in the ER over the weekend so we have to schedule them follow-up appointments. Wore my cute skirt and cardigan combo, love it! Then came home and hung out with brother then went to bed!

Tuesday: Babysat cute lil' Ryder after work, got lost trying to find Burger King, got a phone number for a great nail lady from Nicole, came home and crashed!

Wednesday: Absolutely insane day at work, it was my first day scheduling for 1 dr. and having all the phones BY MYSELF but I handled it! I went to turbo kickboxing after work and kept up the whole entire time, I was so proud of myself!

Thursday: Went out on a date...yes me I went on a date! It's been awhile for me! Unfortuntely the date was a complete failure ( in my opinion). The first issue: Walked into Starbucks, he was already sitting down drinking his coffee, I got my wallet to get mine, didn't even offer to pay for it, what the heck? You asked me out! I felt as though I held "the floor" the whole entire time, didn't really have much to talk about. We got up to leave, and he just started walking to his car. No bye? No nice to see you? In my mom's opinion " Well scratch him off the list Kaylene!" So better luck on my next date...which might be awhile!

Friday: Got free tickets to the Chiefs game! Took Ashley and we had our little "girl date." Unfortunately they lost, but it was a fun and intense game! Got to go to Silver Safari to change my earrings for the 1st time, yay! They charged me $3.00 to change them, uhh what the heck? And yes, I just got my ears pierced for the first time lol I know.. very lame.

My very first pair of earrings, purchased at Kohls :)

Lovin' the sunshine!

Oh what a fantastic weekend it has been! :) :)

I went to my friend Ashleys house on the north side, every time I drive up there I joke around saying that It feels like I'm driving to Montana. It's like a 40 minute drive, it's horrible! But she's my friend and thats what you do.... I guess :D She made me pancakes then did my nails, we felt like little junior highers having a slumber party! We didn't go to bed till 1am and anybody that knows me, I go to bed early!

I woke up and made the long long drive home to get ready, then headed downtown for a little shopping trip to Nordstrom to spend my gift card, plus a little extra :) Ashley then decided that she wanted to make a trip to the valley mall, do you know how long it takes to get from downtown to the valley mall going down SPRAGUE! About 40 minutes... Absolute ridiculousness!

Just a thought for the day:

If you wanted to hang out with somebody so badly , why would you wait till 9pm to get a hold of them and then never even mention hanging out but you made such a big deal about it the night before? People are weird...

I will post some pictures of my cute new outfits later!

If you can't change something, change the way you think about it

Happy Tuesday !

When I got off work today, I looked at the temp. and could not wait to get home and go for a quick walk with Jackie ( my brothers dog whom we've been watching) Unfortunately I didn't realize how dark it gets, thats the problem with working an 8-5 job, when I get home there is almost no sunlight left at this time of the year! I just went on a quick walk/run down Madison Rd. and back, but it felt so good to feel the fresh air, spring is in the air!

I went to my cardio boot camp last night and I was going to try and go tonight but I was just exhausted and thought a quick walk would be better suited. Unfortunately, I didn't drink 60 oz of water today, or get my 25 grams of fiber in :( It's okay, it's only March 2nd!

I still have no idea in what direction to take this blog. I was thinking of starting simple and maybe doing a top 5 list of something random everyday just for fun! So how bout for today we do top 5 favorite songs right now? Sounds good!

1. Syndicate- The Fray

2. Life after you- Daughtry (notice one of my blog titles)

3. Thank you for hearing me- Sinead O'Connor ( on the commercial for the new "addicted" on TLC

4. I never told you- Colbie Caillet

5.Till the Summer comes around- Keith Urban

One thing that has been bothering me a bit and I know that I have been completely guilty of this at times. I have a friend who I hung out with the other night not gonna name any names! He's a great guy and he's smart, and I know that some of the choices he makes are not the best but he has literally been in trouble in every aspect of his life since about his sophomore year of high school and I don't understand how you can screw up so many times yet keep making the same bad choices. I know growing up my mom always told " you are who your friends are" and that's completely true in his case, which I have mentioned to him but its like he wants to get his life together and do good things but is he so stuck in a rut that he can't get out? I have met way too many people that sometimes they wait till it's too late to change anything.

Are some people just wired to think "oh I made a bad decision, I probably should stop what I'm doing, and try this approach" or maybe some people just say " Hm I screwed up, I wonder what will happen if I screw up again?"

I also have learned that sometimes have nothing to do or no hobbies really can change a persons outcome on life! If you have something to look forward to or keep you busy, I really think you are less likely to get into trouble. Now I know that statement is not true for everyone but I know that working a full time job, and having a few things here and there to keep me busy has done a number on my outlook on life.

So I'm not really sure what to think, but thats something I've been pondering today!

Well that's all for today! It's only 8pm and I'm exhausted :(

Mondays are usually never this good...

Where do I even begin with how spectacular my Monday was? Today was my first official day as a scheduler and it's absolutely unbelievable how fast your day goes by when you actually have stuff to do! It got a little bit stressful at different points in the day but I handled it. I also found out that I got a raise since I changed positions, 90 cents, yay!

After I got home from work, I headed straight for the gym. I go to a "cardio boot camp class" and oh man let me tell you, it's amazing! I've never been a gym person, I've always found it very intimidating so this is the perfect thing to get my work out in. It's about 50 minutes long, works every part of your body, your with women of all different ages and strength levels, I look forward to working out for once in my life! If anybody wants to check it out here's the link to her website : http://www.studiofitspokanevalley.com/ It's ran by a girl named Emily, she's young and so energetic, she makes you feel great, and not like your not trying hard enough. Every month she has a challenge so for the month of March the challenge is :

• Drink half your weight in ounces of water (I would need to drink about 60 fl. oz a day which isn't hard at all. )


• Eat 25 g of fiber a day


• Log 2 miles, that might be running, walking or just going to the grocery store. So time to get my pedometer out!

You keep track by a chart at the studio, so you can get 3 stickers total for doing the above. I feel like I'm in elemantary school with the whole sticker thing but it's a great idea, and you have the opportunity to win prizes at the end of the month!

Well I'm having a hard time writing because I feel all over the place and I don't want this post to be complete chaos so I will try and write a more focused topic tomorrow.

I have to leave you with a picture of my super amazing flats I bought over the weekend though :)

The higher you fly, the farther you fall

Not really sure where this post is headed today... I'm a little scatter brained. And a little crazy from being home all weekend, I have left my house for a total of one hour this weekend.

I went on a walk with my aunt and mom today, we walked all the way down to the base of Painted Hills and back. I should try and do that everyday, on the days that I don't go to the gym.

I've been trying to think about in what direction that this blog should head, maybe I will use it to keep track of my exercising and eating healthy, my new lifestyle :) I moved home about a month ago and started eating healthy since my parents actually have good food...and it's healthy too! I feel so much better and I've lost a little bit of the weight that I packed on while living out on my own. Panda Express and cheese pizza does a number on a girls body, especially since i'm only 5'3'' , I don't want to be short....and chubby! I want to be in shape by the summer, which has been my goal for like the past 3 years!

To end on a happy note, my Lucy kitty sleeping on my bed :) :)

There will be life after you...

Break ups suck....Just when I thought I was okay, I'm sitting around the house moping, everything about our relationship running through my mind, wondering what I did wrong.... I broke up with you, but how come I feel so horrible?

I know I will be okay, and I know I'll move on, I just need to find things to do to keep my mind off of how hurt and betrayed I feel.

I've been laying around all day with my kitty, maybe that's why i'm so depressed, I should probably go out and do something.

Since blogging is completely new to me, here is just a quick run down of my life:

I just turned 20 ( 3 days ago) I'm finally out of the "teens." Yay! I moved home about a month ago to pay off some credit card bills that I had racked up, I have 3 kitties and a doggie that's actually my brothers but since my brother is out of town a lot, we take of her when he's away. I work as a receptionist at Rockwood Clinic, as of Monday though, I will be a scheduler, hello new opportunity and a raise :) :)

Speaking of working at Rockwood Clinic:

We recently signed a contract and got bought out by CHS (the company that runs Deaconess, and Valley Hospital) . The office I work at occupies space at Sacred Heart. This is the lovely newspaper article I woke up to this morning :

http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2010/feb/27/sacred-heart-boots-rockwood/

Notice the title...Oh the newspaper always comes up with such clever titles!

Here are pictures of 2 of my kitties Louis and Oliver!